On history and spin doctoring . . .
When asked in a recent poll, most people chose to have lived in a different age than they do. We can also assume a number of people from the past would have liked to live in their future. Imagine if just wishing it made it happen and everyone swapped. Imagine the horror of discovering the morally upright and quaintly charming Victorians were in fact debauched misogynistic butchers (which of course they were, by and large). And life in the future, for those who came forward, is as wretched, unequal and crushing as it is in their own time.
On faux intellect and shagging . . .
Once again I turn to that old chestnut Time, Space and Existence.
I only thought of this (again!) when looking through a box of photographs taken while I was at college and university. Back then, poetry and philosophy, for no discernible reason, were enjoying a renaissance. It was de rigueur to engage the attention of pretty damsels with cool meanderings on Life, the Universe and Everything. We were virile beasts in the grip of rampant potency espousing theories of such complexity with such impressive intellect the girls did not notice we were blithering idiots with faces resembling raisin pitted rock cakes and shagged us anyway.
Ok, Time, Space and Existence; none of it is rocket science and don’t let anyone tell you it’s complicated. They lie, probably because they want to get some poor girl into the sack. So, right here and now I am going to knock all these perennial conundrums on the head in one go and thus protect the virtue of many a maid.
Time: It doesn’t exist, how can it? You can’t go out and buy a bag of it or paint the walls of your house with it. Think about it, the only people with a vested interest in making us believe Time exists are those who screw us for cash – the government, parking wardens, highway patrols, tax officers etc. – there’s always a deadline, a use by date, a time-triggered penalty. I don’t think there is any legal system in the world that has enshrined Time. It must therefore remain speculative and open to individual interpretation.
Turning now to Space: Space does exist but is, in fact, nothing so it doesn’t matter except in so far as the space around an object might actually define it. ’nuff said.
And Existence also exists but only so long as, faeries, Santa and little green men with pots of gold exist. You see, the existence of a thing relies on belief; ask a Christian, Muslim or anyone who subscribes to a belief system, for the most part they believe God exists, so He/She/It does. It’s down to what we, as individual sentient organisms, want to believe. But, Existence itself is not tangible.
However, after all is said and done, it would be an interesting experiment to see what would happen in the world if we, its inhabitants, paid more attention to what we collectively and individually believe than the physical things we amass.
Hmmm, that’s a big question.