Conundra is a classical term which refers to the “Seven Obscure Mysteries of the Glaringly Obvious.”
Here we see poor representations of the ancient masterpiece The Stitch in Time which, as everyone knows, was tattooed into the hide of an Omniscient Llama probably by Space Alien Squinters in the second manifestation of human life on earth some two billion years ago.
Captain Jacques hunted down and liberated four of the treasured Conundra which, thereto had only ever been considered the stuff of legend and lullabies sung by Troat-Stainers. Strains were poems of love and loathing sung by bored baby-shifters to their bewildered brats at bedtime before shipping them off to the Land of Nodd. The sound has often been described as “face altering” and was created by simultaneously whistling and humming at very high pitch through holes bored into the base of the throat by lugworms. Though tuneless, Stains were considered soothing, mostly by very, very drunk folks and brats under the age of 3 months.
The Stitch in Time is a conundrum and to secure this sacred icon for posterity, Captain Jacques handed over a considerable amount of loose change, in a timely fashion, to a chap who went by the name of Nick*, the intrepid Squire of Tyme. Tyme, we are led to believe was a lethargic seaport on the coast of Paraguay. However, Jacques’s timing in Tyme was opportune as there was, indeed, much Time, in Tyme, requiring saving.
Exhibitions of Captain Jacques’s exploits and adventures while recovering this and many other priceless Conundra will be held in Public Libraries in the United Kingdom from March 2017.
* He was and remains The Nick of Tyme. Nick was and remains a consummate liar, though he is dead, many times over. And buried.