Rebel Rules: They don’t care if you break their rules

Once a dream is dreamt, does the dreamer repent his desire for sex and violence? Does he fold the sleepy hills and buildings, the gentle skins and thrashed bed-heads into felted pouches and file them under Unfinished Business, and store them safely. Will he exhume them on his next incarnation and pat the pockets of his midnight coat, locate a note which reads: “Redeemed: One soul. Terms and Conditions apply.” And shall he ask, “when shall I be free?”

Every corporation, every government department imposes, without fear or favour, a ream of Terms and Conditions upon us. The very people who provide their inestimable wealth.

The thing is, so-called red tape is totally acceptable when, for example, safety is an issue or the risks of doing something might not be immediately obvious. But increasingly, private organisations and government agencies shelter their shoddy practices and underhand dealings behind these Weasel Words which we realise, often too late, are for their protection, not ours.

Intricately contrived and often nonsensical their rules of engagement hijack common sense and transform even the simplest transaction into something pointlessly complicated whilst ensuring they squeeze as much money out of us as possible. For example, when someone marries, an insurance company will demand the name is changed on the policy and will charge £20 administration fee for the privilege thank you very much!*

It seems to me that meek compliance exposes their casual contempt for my time, energy and money. Therefore, to all intents and purposes, it’s more in my interest to ignore their Conditions because so long as my money continues to be paid in return for the original purchase, that is as much as I require of them. If I give them an inch they would have me jumping through hoops and in the end, they would surely renege on our agreement whilst eating my liver with an indifferent Chianti.

Rebel Rules: You are no more their Valued Customer than they are your Valued Supplier.

Take as much interest in their Terms and Conditions as they do in yours.

*Despite the small print, you are not obliged to change your name on any policy, investment or insurance document.

Keep copies of your Birth Certificate handy in case it suits you to prove your identity when making a claim or cashing in a policy.

When writing never ask, always instruct (there are nice ways of doing this).

It’s worth emphasising that citizens of the United Kingdom are bound only by Common Law and as such are not obliged to comply with any other regulations, statutes or terms and conditions (unless the individual so desires).

Result: The impact on household affairs was zero. The impact on my quality of life has been positive and massive.

Next: The System

>Location when written: Empire Hotel, Jerudong Park, Darussalam, Brunei
Music I was listening to: Killing Joke ~ Love like blood

© Rod McRiven 2017

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